Fir tere dar se

Fir se tere dar se mayus laut k aaye the.
ab to khud k aasiyane mein bhi sukan nahi tha

Ek sawaal

Aaj bhi ek sawaal hai jis ka koi jawaab nahi
jane kya ho achanak jo tum mere samane aa jao
jane kitni baar aadhi raat ko neend se jaga hoon yahi soch kar
jitni baar bhi socha jawaab to kuch mila nahi
par haan har baar ye hua hai dil bahut joro se dhadka hai

kuch khayal

phir wohi pahado ki dhalan pe haatho
mein haath le kar chalna,
kabhi acchanak barish hone par,
tera wo mere aur aapne saar pe
aapni chunari dal dena,fir kisi ped k
niche mere chehre se barish ki
wo kuch bonde aapne aanchal se poch dena
mere gile balo ko aapne haatho se sukha dena
aisi aur bhi hai teri meri mohabat ki kuch dastan
jo maine kabhi kahi nahi jo tune kabhi suni nahi....

Dost ban ban k mile mujh ko katl karne wale

Dost ban ban k mile mujh ko katl karne wale
gairo k waro se hum kanha chalni hone wale the
chot gehre lagi dil pe aapne logo ki bato se
kabhi sochta hoon mera kasoor kya tha
maine to sirf sacchi dost ka farz nibhaya tha
khuda ne kaha dosti k farz nibhate nibhate
ek waqt aisa bhi aata hai
jab koi aapna hi laiilaz zakhm de jata hai
jis ka koi marham nahi hota
tum dhundte rehte ho sukuun zindagi bhar
aur har baar sukuun tumse do kadam door hota hai.

Jab tum kareeb thi

Jab tum kareeb thi
Dil mein kuch bechaini si rehti thi
tumhe khone ka daar rehta tha hamesha
ab jab tum dur ho gayi ho mujh se
saari bechaini ko chain aa gaya hai
maan ab saare sukh aur dukh se pare ho gaya hai
koi aur tumhe mujh se hassil na kar le
ab ye darr nahi hai rehta
Sayad tumhe maine kho k saada k liye pa liya hai.

The_First_&_Last_True_love

You will think what a unique name of the story, it's because it is a
unique real life story of a 54% physically handicapped person suffering from Arthrogryposis with multiple deformities loving a normal girl.
Well that physically handicapped person in love is me and the girl is Rachna. My story started way back in 1992 when we were classmates in Vidya Niketan school Amgaon. Ours was a love hate relationship. Love from my side and hate from her side. I was very friendly and chatty with all girls in my class except Rachna. During our whole school years from standard first to standard tenth we never talked with each other. But deep in my heart I was knowing that I love her without even knowing what actually a true love is. I used to play cricket ball in class room, she always warned me that if ball comes near to her,she will complain to our head mistress.
By luck or by chance ball always used to go near her, but she never complained to head mistress. I loved her every warning. I made my first attempt to talk to her after our 10th standard exams were over. Some how I managed to get her home phone number, and I called her. My heart was beating with 7200 pulse per second when she said “Hello”. I told her that I need her notes as her writing is good for my younger brother. She said ok. She asked me to come to her home and collect it. Now going to her home was a herculean task for me as her home was around 5 km from my home. But some how I managed to convey my friend Mudasaar to carry me on bicycle. Once I reached her home I forgot all the pain I suffered during the ride. For the first time in the long span of 10 years we were talking in a friendly manner. I came back home with her notes, I still go through her notessensing the fragrance of her hand.

Kuch purani kitab copiyan hai jahan
unho ne apne haatho se kuch likha tha..
aaj bhi siyahi kuch gili hai....
jab bhi yaad kar k unpe apni ungliya ghumata hoon
haatho mein lag jati hai woh gili siyahi....
der talak us siyahi ka rang haatho se chuta nahi hai
barso phele kisi zamane mein pyar hua tha un se....
ab to ibadat lagti hai mohabat....

After 10th result came, we both took admission for science stream in
Vidya Niketan Junior college Amgaon. During 11th we started talking to each other formally. During one such talk I asked her to be my best friend. She agreed instantly.From that day onward we used to talk a lot, we exchanged our class notes. She cared for me in all possible ways. Some of her care is still very close to my heart like she collected chemistry notes for me from our chemistry lecturer when I was not there. Previously I was not serious in studies but because of her care I became very good at studies and she transformed me into a good human being. If she has some work she will tell to me only and I will eagerly do it for her. Time fled with her,we passed our 11th exams and moved to 12th board.
Our friendship grew stronger day by day. I was weak in drawing, so she will draw figures for me in biology class and I will help her in mathematics,physics. She gifted me a paper cutting of Sachin Tendulkar's poster, I still have that with me.
During that time our class trip went to Chikhaldara a hill station near Amravati. Me and Rachna sat together in the bus and enjoyed a lot. In Chikhaldara, I asked
her to have a snap of her with me, which is the most price less possession of mine up to date.
One of the most unforgettable experience of Chikaladara trip, I forgot my sweater near the river and Rachna picked it up and handed over to me in the bus.

Nadi k kinare aapni sweater bhul k aa gaya tha..
wo lekar aayi thi teh kar k..
aaj bhi us k mehndi lage haatho ki mehek
ko mehfuz rakha hai
humne aapni alamari mein
un ki ungliyan jahan jahan lagi thi
us jagah ka uunn aaj bhi kuch mulayam hai ab tak,
kuch alag hi sukan deta hai jab bhi phenta hoon

In Maharashtra 12th is a board exam. Rachna challenged me to score very good marks,eventually I topped my 12th class with 86%. After 12th Rachna went for BHMS degree in Nagpur and I was doing round to Nagpur for my BE admission.
During one such round I called for her in her hostel, she asked me to come to meet her but I had my train back to Amgaon so I said no. I was sitting alone in railway platform, all of a sudden Rachna and Priti were standing in front of me.
I was taken by surprise, but inside I was on cloud nine. While leaving I asked Priti who's idea was to come to see me. She said it was Rachna's idea. I felt like dancing in the rain. I had developed a feeling in my heart that Rachna also loves me.
After so many round to Nagpur, I finally got admission for BE (Information Technology ) in M.I.E.T Gondia.While pursuing my engineering degree I used to write letters to
Rachna. During that course of letters exchange she mistook one of my letter as love letter and then misunderstanding grew day by day. Finally we stopped talking each other.After two years of silence,I called her once and said I LOVE YOU and disconnected the call.After some days when I went to my home, I called her once again, after hearing my voice shedisconnected the call.I tried for some three four times every time she disconnected the call. Finally after several calls I manged to say that
“ please let me convey my feelings to you, then do whatever you want to.”

She granted the permission to speak out my heart to her. I said “
Main janta hoon tu mujhe pasand nahi karti, lekin main tumhe bahot saalo se pyar karta hoon,main janta hoon ki tu mujh se kabhi shadi nahi karogi aur aisi koi khwaish bhi nahi hai meri. Main bas apne dil ki baat tumhe batana chahata tha, koi regret nahi rakhna chahata tha.” After hearing these she said “ Don't call again”, I said ok.Three years passed I never tried to contact her, In 2007 I gotselected as a Engineer-B in TIFR.I called her on 11th March which is her birthday to wish her
and tell about my selection. She talked nicely and after some time she gave me the shock of my life, she said she is going to marry on 11th July. I couldn't uttered a single word after hearing those sentences. I felt shattered and couldn't able to collect myself for 10-15 days.
At that times I shared my pain with my dear friend Sachin, who told me to channelize my lovefor her into some positive work.When I went to my home for Diwali, I heard that Rachna gotdivorced. I got the second shock of my life. I wanted her to be happy. With my friend sunil I went to her home but she had gone somewhere else. Her mother told me everything how herhusband tortured her. I felt a deep sorrow in my heart. As a friend once I called her but after hearing my voice she said “Don't call again.”
I felt a big lump in my heart but I said it's ok, I will never call you again. Deep in my heart I have a feeling that she never understood my true love for her.
Six years has passed since, I don't have any information regarding her where she is, how she is, but my day start with typing her name in Google search engine.
I have moved on in my life, I have achieved so much success which I attribute to Rachna. Because of her I fought with my disability to prove myself.I got attracted to some many girls but never I truly loved a girl like I loved Rachna. That's why name of my story is “ The first and last true love “.

It's not necessary to have marriage as the end result of true love, in some exception cases true love gives you the courage to stand for your own, to do something big in your life.

“ Janta nahi ki mohabat hai ya ibadat,
bas itna keh sakta hoon
din tere naam se suru hota hai
aur raat tera naam le kar soti hai”

Kalam

" Jab bhi kalam uthi kuch likh ne k liye,
har bar kalam ne phele tera ka naam likha,
maine kalam se sikayat ki to,
kalam ne kaha is mein mera kya kasoor
jis naam se tere khayalo ka aagaaz hota hai
ussi naam ko maine shabdo ka roop diya.."

Bus ki khidki

" kal barish ho rahi thi raat ko,office bus ki khidki se
bahar dekh na chaha to kuch bhi dekhai nahi de raha tha
pani ki ek halki si parat chhadi hui thi kanch k upar,
par jane kaise us pani ki parat k upar tumhara chehra nazar aa raha tha...
saara rashta tum ko dekhte dekhte kat gaya...."